Sirius James Potter? I'd Pity the Parents
by dork-with-glasses
Summary: It's a cold winter's day and five friends are trying to come up with a name for the Potters' future son. Adam, Clark, Edgar... And then Sirius has a suggestion, what he thinks would be the perfect baby name.


**I've been suffering a bit of writers block and thought of this one-shot a little while ago and decided to finish it. **

**Oh and I do not mean to be mean to any names mentioned in this story. The characters opinions belong solely to the character that said the comment and I don't agree with most of them. I'm sorry if your name crops up and the characters say something mean about it, I don't mean to offend anyone. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter**

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It was a bitterly cold winter's day that five friends were around the dining table in a house in Gordic's Hollow. There was condensation on the windows as the cold outside tried to battle its way into the house, trying to nip and bite at exposed pieces of flesh. The inhabitants of this house, however, were wrapped up warm and had more pressing things on their mind than whether the cold would go on for many more days.

"What about Fred?" A tired looking Remus Lupin suggested feebly.

"Fred James Potter?" Sirius Black raised his eyebrow at his friend. "What kind of name is that?"

"Well it's better than your suggestions." Remus snapped back irritably.

Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew, Lily and James Potter had been trying to come up with a name for Lily and James's soon to be baby boy for hours now and they were getting more and more irritable by the minute.

"I still like Braxton." Peter shrugged as he took a sip of tea that Lily had made for the five of them.

"We are not naming our son Braxton James Potter." Lily said with a note of finality in her voice that made Peter not dare mention it again. "What about Chandler?"

"I don't like it." James said, voicing his opinion for the first time in awhile.

"Ok, we're going to do one name for each letter of the alphabet, starting with Prongs. Then Lils, Moony, me and Wormtail. Maybe something will come up that we all love."

"Why am I last?" Peter inquired with a raised eyebrow.

"Because that's the order we're sitting in." Sirius said exasperatedly, indicating the round table in the Potters' dining room that they were sitting at, each with steaming cups of tea in their hands. "Start us off Prongs."

"Adam." James suggested feebly.

"I'm not feeling it. Adam Potter doesn't quite sound right." Lily said.

"I agree," Remus said. "But it's your turn Lily."

"I quite like Billy."

"No thanks." James said. "Billy James Potter, not right at all. Your turn Moony."

"What about Clark? It's a nice name." Remus suggested. "Clark James Potter doesn't sound too bad."

"But it doesn't sound too right either." Sirius said.

"Agreed." Peter added. "You're up Padfoot."

"Now I've always thought the name Dustin had some spunk to it."

"I don't like it." Lily said immediately.

"Come on Lils, give it a chance, Dustin James Potter, it sounds nice."

"No way. Peter, it's your turn." Lily said.

"I'm thinking Edgar."

"Not the name we're looking for." James said. "Your thoughts Lily?"

"No, I don't see it but it's your turn."

"Fabian."

"We're not naming our son after pranksters that were in seventh year while we were in first." Lily sternly.

"Well I was actually thinking of Fabian Thomason, the chaser for the Tornadoes." James told his wife. It earned him a whack on the head.

"We're not naming our son after a Quidditch player either."

"But what if the name you like is coincidently the name of a Quidditch player?" Sirius asked cheekily. He gulped at the glare Lily gave him and quickly said "but I believe it's time for your suggestion."

"Geoff."

"Doesn't really have the right ring to it to be honest." James said.

"Hunter."

"Not the 'H' name I would have chosen and I don't like it." Sirius told Remus frankly.

"Well what would you have chosen?" Remus asked Sirius in a clearly annoyed tone.

"I don't know, it just wouldn't have been that."

"Just go."

"Isaac."

"Nice name, but not for our baby." James said.

"Jayden."

"No." Lily and James said at the same time.

"Kenneth."

"I'm not really feeling it." Remus contributed.

"Logan."

"I like the name, but not with James Potter at the end." James told his wife.

"Fair enough." Lily shrugged.

"Malcolm."

"Doesn't really fit." Peter said.

"Nicholas, Nick for short." Sirius suggested.

"It's the closest we've had but it's not quite there." Lily said and James nodded in agreement.

"Octavius."

"Godric, there is no way I'm naming my-I mean our son Octavius." James told Peter.

"I thought it had great potential." Peter shrugged.

"Paul."

"I don't see it."

"Quincy."

"No way." Sirius said flatly. "My godson will not be called Quincy."

"Well I couldn't think of any other 'Q' names." Lily snapped.

"Rutherford." Remus suggested half-heartedly.

"Not a chance." James said.

"I know it; I've got the best name in the world. It'll suit baby Potter perfectly." Sirius grinned at his four friends.

"Really?" James said hopefully. "What is it?"

"Don't get your hopes up too much, Prongs, this is Sirius that's suggesting it." Remus said. Sirius glared at his friend and Remus just shrugged in return in a 'you know it's true' way.

"Sirius."

"Never as in not _ever_. Not even if you paid us." Lily said.

"Not going to happen." James agreed.

"I knew it would be stupid." Remus rolled his eyes.

"Really Sirius? That's got to be the worst one suggested yet." Peter told him.

"Whatever you say, Sirius James Potter would make an incredible name." Sirius said stubbornly.

"We're not naming our baby Sirius, he's already got James in his name, give him Sirius and he's doomed to a life of pranks and trouble." Lily said seriously.

"Wow, imagine the pranks someone called Sirius James Potter could pull off. There would be no stopping him!" James said enthusiastically.

"I can see it now Prongs, intelligent, witty, mastermind in the art of prank pulling-"Sirius said as he and James started listing all the amazing things that a boy named Sirius James Potter would be able to accomplish.

"Lily," Remus said worriedly. "Please don't let James and Sirius convince you to call the baby Sirius, just think about all the trouble he would cause, it would be a complete disaster."

"As if," Lily scoffed. "As far as I'm concerned, no baby coming out of me is going to be named Sirius James Potter."

"Good idea." Peter said. "Imagine all the chaos and havoc the kid would cause."

"Merlin, I don't even want to think about it. If anyone had the guts to call their kid that...Sirius James Potter? I'd pity the parents."

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"JAMES SIRIUS POTTER! WHAT DID YOU DO TO DESERVE THIS MANY DETENTIONS? YOU'VE ONLY HAD ONE TERM THIS YEAR, YOUR FIFTH YEAR, YOU SHOULD BE STUDYING! HOW ON EARTH DO YOU EVEN GET THAT NUMBER OF DETENTIONS? YOU JUST DON'T THINK DO YOU? ALBUS AND LILY NEVER CAUSE THIS MUCH TROUBLE. YOU'VE HAD MORE DETENTIONS THIS TERM THAN THE TWO OF THE HAVE EVER HAD! WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? YOU WERE COMPLETELY IDIOTIC! EXPLAIN YOURSELF!"

"You know," Albus Potter muttered to his little sister as the two watched their mum shouting at their elder brother from the top of the stairs. "Why would they ever call him James Sirius Potter? It's just asking for trouble."

"I completely agree." Lily said as they watched James try to explain himself to their furious mother. "James Sirius Potter? I pity our parents."**

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Author's note: Thanks for reading; I really do hope that you enjoyed it. A review would be lovely as I really value readers' opinions, they make me a better writer so basically, I'd love a review.**

**Thanks again for reading and I hope you liked it.**

**TTFN**

**Dork-with-glasses**

**Xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo**


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